Missing Connections #1

Dear Angel,

I know you don't know me from Adam but I saw you down the street the other day whilst walking to the path train and it occurred to me that you have been there everyday this week. You were standing around, you know, in front of that duplex down by Newark ave laughing raucously with the junkie who drops in on my neighbor from time to time, drinking mead or wine or - whatsit you people like to drink? Whatever it was, it was apparent (for so many reasons) that you were pretty trashed and feeling rather... um, amorous. And while your plans for the day aren't really any of my business, nor your reasons for being here, I just thought that if the person up there isn't going to say something, someone aught to.

I could totally see your halo, dude. Yep, your halo.-

Now, I don't know if you thought you were being slick with your too small leather jacket, your muscle man tee, those oh so very tight pants you had hanging off your ass or that quite poorly wrapped turban. I don't know if you were just being sloppy or trying to blend and quite frankly, Angel, I don't care. Tuck that in or something, will ya! First of all: you never know what kind of crazies might be lurking around just thinking, "Man, wish I could find an angel right about now. I could totally steal their wings and sell them to religious fanatics on eBay." Yes: eBay, my friend. eBay. Your wings are gonna end up on some mid-western catholic's mantle piece sandwiched in between Scott Bakula about to have his blood drained by the Vampire Jesus and a moldy piece of bread imprinted with the Virgin Mary's face. And I'm not too sure you'd like that, Angel.

Plus what if God found out? The shit you've been doing this week is not cool and not okay, Angel. There are children living in this neighborhood. Its bound to have some sort of horrible consequences for someone and I'm pretty sure it won't be you. Oh yeah, just try to look confused or something, Angel. I know how your people are. You go out, find some poor impressionable schmuck and tell him you'll whisk him away from all of life's problems if he takes you out on the town and shows you a good time. Then when daddy finds out its: "Oh, it wasn't my fault. Humans are always trying to molest me." I mean, look what happened last time one of you guys started flashing their shit around: IT RAINED FIRE - that's what and, honestly, I think the good people of Sodom can tell us all where this is going. So put your hat back on, find yourself a creepy hobo-shift (like a normal divinity in cognito) and go about your business or its gonna be a bumpy ride - FOR EVERYONE. Goddamn exhibitionist angels...